


Fly

by SP00K



Series: Grace [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Choking, Dom/sub, Jealousy, M/M, Oral Sex, Safeword Use, bit of Violence, slight daddy kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 19:58:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1150165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SP00K/pseuds/SP00K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>For months Erwin allowed himself to truly care for someone, opening himself up to the very real possibility of an unhealable heartbreak from a swift, untimely death.  And Levi thinks it’s a game. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fly

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to mysunflower who requested Erwin taking things too far. I am firmly against noncon and dubcon so there will be nothing explicit here. Hopefully it is somewhat what you were hoping for c:
> 
> As always it may be helpful to read the previous installments, but not necessary.

Erwin lost it. Cool, calm and collected Commander Erwin Smith completely lost it. As the blonde turned the corner just outside the dining hall he saw one of the new recruits pushing Levi - his Levi - up against the wall. The young man’s mouth covered Levi’s for a moment longer than Erwin could quite handle before the smaller man shoved the unknown soldier away. But it was the two second hesitation that has Erwin seeing red. Being a man of action the commander doesn't hesitate to grab the soldier by the back of his collar and easily tosses him to the ground. Seething, Erwin looms over the absolutely terrified recruit with cold, narrowed eyes before speaking in a stern and quiet voice that belies the fury raging through his veins.

“Leave. I don’t ever want to see you near Levi again, understand?”

The young man nods quickly as he scrambles to get on his feet to take a few shaky steps backwards as Erwin speaks before turning and scurrying away. Erwin brings his attention to Levi who looks wide eyed and startled, back still against the wall. The blonde clenches his hands into fists at his side, using every ounce of self control he has left to not go back after the soldier and throw him through a wall. Levi and Erwin never discussed their arrangement being exclusive, or even a real relationship of some sort. But when Erwin declares Levi as _“mine”_ he means it. 

“Erwin, what the hell! I could have handled it. ”

“Yeah, it looks like you were handling it real well.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t want to hear you speak. Go to my quarters. Now.”

“Erwin…”

“Now, _boy_!”

Levi pushes off the wall with a scowl and storms passed Erwin in the direction of the officer barracks, intent on not creating another scene. Erwin stares at Levi’s retreating form, trying to calm his anger. But he keeps seeing that soldier - that other man - crowding Levi up against the wall, hands and mouth on the small body and his boy not putting it to a stop. At least not fast enough for Erwin to help pacify his quiet rage. The commander takes a few deep breaths that do nothing to calm him before following Levi to his rooms. Erwin has tunnel vision the whole way there, completely consumed in his anger and taking no note of anyone or thing around him. When he pushes the door open to his quarters his vision goes white when he finds Levi not half naked and submissive on the floor like he should be, but rather standing in the small foyer with his arms crossed and a deep frown set in his brow.

“On your knees, boy.”

“No.”

“On. Your. Fucking knees. Boy.”

Levi visibly startles at the tone of Erwin’s voice, the unfiltered anger and dangerous blue eyes something he has not fully experienced before. But Levi holds his ground and shakes his head no, shifting his weight in obvious unease over the tension building in the room.

“I’m not getting on my knees for punishment when I did nothing wrong. I am not playing your fucking games right now.”

“Games? Is that what you think this is - a _game_?” 

Levi winces at the incredulous tone of Erwin’s voice and the raw emotion that comes off his commander in waves where there would otherwise be a mask of indifference. Erwin feels like he has been punched in the gut with a fist of ice. For months now he has been working and training Levi personally under his wing. Months they have shared a bed and hope and dreams. For months Erwin allowed himself to truly care for someone, opening himself up to the very real possibility of an unhealable heartbreak from a swift, untimely death. And Levi thinks it’s a game. 

“Then what the fuck is it if it’s not a game, Erwin? What is this? What the hell do you want from me?”

“I want you safe and by my side and I never want to see another person with their tongue down your throat.”

“That’s one mean jealousy streak you got…”

“Get on your knees, boy, or I will make you.”

Levi let’s out a little huff of a laugh and rolls his eyes and Erwin’s waning patience is snapped out of existence. The backhand is delivered before Erwin really thinks it through and the force of it actually knocks the smaller man to the ground. A vivid red blotch blooms on the sharp cheek of Levi’s face as his eyes harden. Levi rises slowly to his feet as he rubs his cheek with the back of his hand.

“Fuck you, Erwin.”

Another slap sounds harsh in the quiet room and Levi’s head whips to the other side. Erwin gets right in Levi’s space as the man spits a wad of blood to the floor from splitting his gum on his tooth. Levi wavers a bit but glares up spitefully at his commander.

“I said on your knees.”

“And I said _fuck you_.” 

Erwin grabs Levi by his hair and in one swift motion kicks the man’s legs out from under him forcing him to fall hard onto his knees while the blonde still holds his head high by the hair. Levi yelps and grabs for the fist yanking black strands from his head and tries to thrash away until a large hand wraps tightly around his throat. Erwin is livid as he tightens his fingers around that pale, thin neck, feeling the pulse thundering under his palm as he slowly starts cutting off Levi’s oxygen. 

Levi goes stone still, petrified and mind racing as he tries to figure out how he can make this stop. Not again, he won’t let this happen again. Not from Erwin. Not from anyone. And in one last ditch effort Levi is sure won’t make a lick of difference he remembers his safe word: fly. Levi manages to croak it out with the last of his breath.

“F-FLY! Fuck, fly! Fly fly fly!”

Erwin jerks off of Levi like the man is made of fire, eyes wild and breathing heavy, he backs a few steps away from Levi who kneels hunched on the floor gasping and coughing for air. Levi is utterly stunned - Erwin stopped, he actually stopped. But the shock turns into anger, a raging fury, that Erwin would take it to this point, would force him to use his safeword in fear. Levi lunges at the blonde and lands a good uppercut to Erwin’s jaw causing him to stumble backwards. Erwin doesn’t even attempt a defense as Levi comes at him again with fists and kicks, the blows cementing into Erwin’s mind just how much he fucked up. Erwin almost hopes that Levi will beat the life out of him as he can’t come to terms yet with just how royally he has screwed up. How could he ever face the man he loved after what he just did. And that’s just it, that’s when it truly hits Erwin like the most bittersweet hindsight. Levi is the man he loves. And the man who has every right to destroy him right now. 

A vicious punch and shove and the blonde is felled to the floor and Levi jumps him immediately with a snarl. Another fist comes down hard as Levi straddles the commander who just lays pliant taking his beating. Blood seeps from Erwin’s nose, but he knows its not broken yet. Levi is so angry, his eyes hard and dark, brows drawn tight together as he stares down at the man he trusted. Tears flood Levi’s eyes, big tears of fear, confusion, pain and strangely regret. Erwin feels like the whole world is crumbling around them. Levi gives another punch and another, but with each swing his strength and resolve lessen until his strikes are little more than a shove. He’s cracking and Erwin knows it’s his fault, all his fault. Erwin remembers how he promised Levi time and again he would never break him - never take away what makes Levi, Levi. But here he is bowed on top of him a complete wreck and pieces falling away. 

“Fly, Erwin.”

Levi spits like it is a curse. Slowly the smaller man rises from the floor and bloody mess of his commander, hand still tangled in the blonde hair as he pulls up until his fingers slip out and Erwin’s head hits the floor with a dull thud. Again Erwin does nothing to protect himself, nothing to prevent Levi from taking out his rage. But Levi looks done, exhausted and empty and utterly done. The smaller man adjusts his clothing back into place and walks in almost a daze to the door. He unlocks and pulls it open, never looking back at Erwin as he moves into the hall. Erwin expects a slammed door, but when he looks over from the floor he sees the front door wide open and Levi nowhere in sight.

Erwin lies on the floor in the little pool of his own blood. He doesn’t gauge how much time has passed or that the open door could invite anyone in. Erwin isn’t thinking about what excuse he’d give to someone about why he’s bloodied on the floor, he’s trying to figure out someway to fix the pieces of Levi he shattered. How could he let his jealousy get to that point that he would lose his temper so irresponsibly. The answer is that he cares too much for his little protege, as oxymoronic as that sounds even to him in this moment. But for the life of him, Erwin doesn’t know how to possibly go about making this right. He is almost certain the man is long gone, never to return to the Survey Corps and he wouldn’t blame him for it.

A creak in the floorboards and the sounds of booted footfalls brings Erwin’s mind from the dismal abyss. He has a conflicting desire for it to be Levi and also for it not to be as he doesn’t know he is ready to face the end just yet. Taking a deep breath, Erwin waits on the floor, no motivation to move from where Levi left him what must be ages ago now. His body aches all over, but he feels it is well deserved. He can tell the person stands just outside the open door now. A soft sniffing is just audible and Erwin opens his eyes he didn’t even realize were closed and he lets out a deflated exhale when it becomes obvious it’s just Mike.

“Do I need to kill him?”

Erwin groans and rolls over to his side before slowly coming up to a sitting position with his back still to the door and his friend. There is no need to stand on ceremony with Mike and Erwin doesn't have the strength to do so anyway. Wiping some blood from under his nose Erwin squeezes his eyes shut again when his head starts pounding.

“Kill who?”

There are a few more sniffs from the door before Mike’s heavy boots clunk on the wood floors as he moves into the room and shuts the front door.

“Your little shadow. I told you he was dangerous. You can’t tame kids like that.”

Mike walks right past Erwin sulking in the foyer and goes straight to the commander’s little kitchen where he starts rummaging around for some tea to make. But first the taller man tosses a wet dish rag to Erwin who easily catches it and starts cleaning himself up.

“He’s not a kid.”

“Sure, but he acts like one.”

“It doesn’t matter, Mike. He’s gone and I fucked up.”

“Clearly. I know you are a kinky fucker, but even those marks are out of your erogenous zone.”

Erwin laughs lightly at that and manages to pull himself off of the floor. He joins Mike in his kitchen just as the kettle starts to boil. They are both silent as Mike pours two cups of his favorite bitter black tea that some how always finds its way into Erwin’s cupboard. Mike sips the scalding liquid immediately while Erwin just holds his warm mug in his hand, staring at the steam rising from the tea. 

“So, you want to talk about it?”

Erwin gives Mike a dull look over the rim of his cup as he tries to take a sip of the comforting beverage. Mike chuckles softly as he rests his hip against the counter to watch his long time friend attempt to not burn his tongue. 

“Yeah, dumb question. He’s still here you know.”

A flare of hope sparks into Erwin’s gut, he thought Levi would be back down in the Underground by now. Turning questioning eyes back to his tall friend, he hopes he doesn't need to ask for elaboration. And of course he doesn’t 

“He’s in his room. Hasn’t come out for hours.”

“Are you sure?” 

Mike taps a finger to his nose and Erwin nods in understanding. A bit of light dances in those blue eyes as Erwin realizes he might still have a chance to at least apologize if not make this right. 

“Cancel the meeting with Hanji for later today.”

“It was suppose to be an hour ago, that’s why I’m here.”

“Shit. Is she pissed?”

“Not happy. But we both saw your little black cat hissing his way to the cadet barracks and figured you were doing damage control. I would okay Hanji’s request for converting the old dungeon into her new lab though.”

“Ah, yes. Consider it done.”

Erwin tosses his his mug into the sink with a clatter of broken ceramic, but he could care less for the ruined cup right now. Spurred on by the growing hope and thought that just maybe Levi doesn't want to leave, Erwin rushes to the door. Just as he throws it open and is about to turn into the hall he calls back over his shoulder to the man still occupying his kitchen.

“Thanks, Mike.”

“Erwin, if he ever attacks you again - I will kill him.”

“No, I deserved this. This was not Levi’s fault.”

And with that Erwin closes the door as he hears a snuffle in response from his friend. With new determination the blonde takes the stairs two at a time and makes good use of his long stride. As he finds his way to the cadet barracks, Erwin realizes he has never actually been to Levi’s quarters. Levi always comes to his own, in fact he spends most of his down time in Erwin’s rooms or his office and Levi thinks of his own room as little more than a closet. Of course it would be inappropriate for Erwin to visit Levi there anyway despite most everyone believing there is something more between them then Commander and soldier. When he gets to the barracks, Erwin has to actually ask someone which is Levi’s quarters and ignores the knowing smirk he receives as he turns down the hall in the indicated direction. Once Erwin is in front of Levi’s door, however, he suddenly loses his nerve and comes to a complete loss of what to do. He knows he should at least knock of course, but Erwin can not find the ability to do even that. The blonde paces a few times before coming back to just stare at the unassuming door. 

“Just come in already. Your heavy breathing out there is fucking creepy.” 

The gruff voice on the other side of the door startles Erwin. How could Levi have known he was outside, was he that obvious? With a deep breath the commander puts his hand on the doorknob and exhales when he realizes it is unlocked. Erwin cautiously opens the door to find Levi sitting at a little table just inside of the entryway. Levi’s quarters are less spacious and consist of just one large room with a small bed in one corner and an end table, a small wood burning stove and faucet and bucket but no sink. It takes Erwin back to his early Corps days when he shared a room with Mike - though Levi was given his own space for obvious reasons. And looking at Levi, you would never know something was amiss. The smaller man’s hair is damp so he has obviously bathed recently, but he just sits calmly at the table with a small glass and bottle of what Erwin guesses is alcohol of some kind. 

“May I come in?”

“I just told you to. And don’t look so surprised, I told you I know the sound of your boots anywhere.”

Erwin nods politely as he closes the door and steps inside. He wants to take his boots off, knowing Levi’s penchant for keeping the floors immaculate, but the blonde also doesn’t want to assume he is truly welcome or will be staying long. Erwin decides to loiter by the door, his heart racing as Levi just stares at him, waiting. But for the first time in his life Erwin’s words fail him, his speech and elegant persuasions are all lost in this moment as true fear grips him. This could be the last time he sees the man he has grown to love and he can’t think of anything to say.

“You want a drink?”

Levi tilts his head towards the bottle on the table in indication. Erwin hesitates for a moment, unsure why Levi is being polite. Maybe he intends to poison him, but when the smaller man takes a swig straight from the bottle it eases the blonde’s unintentional paranoia a bit. 

“Isn’t it a bit early to be drinking?” 

“I’m not drunk, if that's what you are asking. It just helps to calm my nerves.”

The guilt clicks back on with Levi’s words and Erwin walking towards the smaller man with determination again, boots be damned. When the commander gets in front of Levi he winces when he sees Levi pulling back slightly from his towering form.

“Levi, look I am so sorry for what happened earlier. I was completely out of line and took my anger out on you. I - please I just...I don’t know what came over me. But please, I never wanted to hurt you.”

Levi won’t quite make eye contact, his hands fidget on the table and when he speaks its so quiet Erwin has to lean in to hear him.

“I was so scared. Scared of you, Erwin. I never want to be afraid of you.”

The admission breaks Erwin’s cold heart in two and he rounds the table to fall to his knees before the smaller man so he can look up at the heavily hung head and see those grey eyes. From here he can see the ugly purpling bruises that wrap around Levi’s delicate neck in an obvious imprint of fingers. Erwin hates himself.

“Please, Levi - if you never want to see me again I understand. But please just know I am truly sorry and I will never forgive myself for what I did.”

Levi finally looks up at Erwin, his face like a ghost as he stares down at his commander.

“I was so scared you were like all of the others. All those bastards that just take what they want by force, never caring for the damage they leave behind…”

“Levi -”

“But you’re not. You stopped, the second I told you to, you stopped. You aren’t like them at all. I wracked my brain over how I could trust you again, but then I realized you never lost my trust. I don’t have to be afraid of you.”

Erwin feels like the world is spinning. Could this really be real, does Levi truly still trust him? Forgiveness can come later, but trust, trust is hope. The blonde reaches out and pulls Levi’s hands into his own and he bows down to kiss Levi’s raw knuckles where they split from punching his own face. Erwin crumpling into the smaller mans lap as he laves the thin hands with all of his devotion.

“I thought I lost you, Levi.”

Levi says nothing as he dips down to rest his cheek on Erwin’s head, breathing in the scent of his blonde hair and allowing the familiar smell to calm him. Everything will be okay, in time this will bring them closer. Erwin nuzzles into Levi’s lap, content to just be allowed to touch and be close to the small man. But he also wants to apologize and with a bit of trepidation at possibly being refused, Erwin unclasps his hands with Levi’s and tentatively moves them to the top of Levi’s pants so his intent is clear. He then looks up to stare into Levi’s eyes.

“May I?”

Levi looks a little unsure, and it weighs heavy on Erwin’s heart when he is used to Levi begging for his mouth. What only hours ago was a sweet reward Levi yearned for has become a hesitancy. But Levi gives a short nod of consent and Erwin takes his time unbuttoning the white pants and pulling them low enough to get at the grey briefs beneath. Erwin is hyper aware of Levi watching his every move as he palms his large hand over Levi’s flaccid length to feel the heat of him. Kneading slightly, Erwin begins to feel Levi’s sex stir in interest as the breathing above him begins to increase. Erwin’s fingers dip in between the waistband of Levi’s underwear to tickle the smooth skin beneath as he pulls the material out of the way to fully free the cock and balls. 

“I love you so much, Levi. And I hope someday you will find it in yourself to forgive me.”

Levi’s only response is a hiss when Erwin dips down immediately to take his entire length into the warm caress of his commander’s mouth. Erwin’s lips and tongue get to work licking and sucking all down the sensitive flesh to begin coaxing an erection from the smaller man. With each pull of his mouth Erwin has the satisfaction of feeling Levi’s length harden, filling his mouth until he begins to feel the flared head nudge the back of his throat. Erwin pulls off with an obscene slurp to survey his work and wrap a hand around the now heavy sac. Levi curses and bites his bottom lip at the sight of his commander on his knees, lips red, wet and swollen from sucking intently on his cock. Running his thin fingers through the blonde hair, Levi pulls lightly wanting to feel that perfect mouth on him again. With a smile Erwin lets Levi guide his head back down to the needy length and begins to massage Levi’s delicate balls as his lips and tongue tastes every millimeter of that glorious cock. 

Levi cries out and moans now with every expert flick of Erwin’s tongue. He curses though when Erwin opens his throat to take Levi deep and swallows. The ripple of soft wet heat from Erwin’s esophagus as the muscles work around his length has Levi jolt and spill precum right down the blonde’s throat. Moaning at the taste, Erwin does it again and again, deep throating Levi further with each pass until his swollen lips hit the sharp bone of Levi’s pelvis and the soft skin of his sac.

“Fuck, Erwin...fuck.”

Erwin pulls off one more time to swallow and breathe before diving down again, forcing Levi straight down the back of his throat until he reaches the coarse pubic hair then slips his tongue out to tickle Levi’s balls. The hand in his hair pulls almost unbearably as Levi is taken to a new plain of pleasure. Erwin wants Levi to come undone, to trust him with this again, to know he is safe to feel and experience and take his pleasure from Erwin. Both hands grab and yank the blonde hair now as Levi’s orgasm threatens to explode, but Erwin stays firmly in place.

“Shit, Erwin...I’m going...ah fuck, please let me cum, Sir!”

A happy warmth fills Erwin that has nothing to do with the way his own cock is excited at the moment. The commander is elated that Levi still wants and needs this from him. Erwin won’t let his boy wait another second and since he can not reply verbally with a command to cum, he simply swallows and Levi is gone in an instant. Levi’s entire body bucks up into Erwin and then back so hard he almost tips the chair over. Erwin has to grab him by the hips to prevent Levi from falling backwards as he keeps swallowing the thick streams of cum that release deep down his throat. Levi is panting above him, fists practically pulling clumps of hair from the blonde’s scalp, but Erwin doesn't care as he milks Levi for every drop. 

When Levi’s body finally finishes convulsing Erwin pulls off still tasting Levi’s salty seed. He takes a much needed breath and stretches his now aching jaw before looking up into Levi’s absolutely blissed out face with a satisfied smile. Levi’s breathing is still a bit labored and Erwin sits up on his knees to runs his palms up Levi’s quivering thighs as he wedges in closer to the petite body. Erwin pulls himself up until his mouth can reach Levi’s neck and they are flush together. Softly the blonde moves to run his lips onto the tender neck and starts to lightly kiss all of the dark marks he left on the pale skin in reverent apology. Levi shivers at the touches, but arches into each kiss just the same, gasping slightly when Erwin uses his tongue to sooth the bruises and dull ache caused by his strong hands. After a few moments, Erwin kisses up his neck climbing up to Levi’s ear where he teases with a little nip before moving straight into Levi’s mouth. Erwin captures Levi’s lips in a heated kiss, pouring all of his emotions and regrets and longing into the play of their mouths. Trying to show Levi just how much he needs him. How sorry he is. Levi’s hands stay to himself, but itch to latch around the powerful shoulders of his commander. Erwin doesn't dare promise anything to Levi right now and pulls away just after their tongues get reacquainted. He quickly does up Levi’s pants before standing fully before him. Erwin rests a hand on Levi’s cheek, watching him look up at him and beyond happy to see longing in those grey eyes. 

“You know where to find me, but I understand if you want to be alone.”

Levi doesn’t respond and Erwin doesn't expect him to. With a final stroke to his cheek Erwin pulls his hand away before stepping out from Levi’s knees and heads to the door feeling giddy and relieved. 

Just as Erwin makes it to the door and opens it, Levi calls out to him.

“Take a shower, old man. There is still blood all over your face.”

Erwin turns and leaves with a smile on his lips.

...

Levi doesn’t come to Erwin that night, but the blonde still sleeps soundly in confidence that space is what they both need. He does however show up in Erwin’s kitchen the next day just after the commander’s morning shower. Levi is in full uniform while Erwin has nothing more than a towel wrapped low on his slim hips. The smaller man is making coffee and cleaning up Mike’s mess from the day before and Erwin is content to just watch him for a moment, taking in the ease and familiarity Levi has in this environment. Levi just didn’t look right in his designated empty and open quarters in the cadet barracks. Levi looks right here in Erwin kitchen, helping himself to the coffee. And that’s when the blonde notices something different. 

“What’s that around your neck?”

Levi looks up from his scrubbing to take notice of Erwin for the first time, his eyes linger on the naked skin with appreciation before darting back to the blonde’s face.

“It’s a cravat. Way better than that stupid bolo tie you always wear.”

Despite the hint of joking in Levi’s voice, Erwin feels that guilt welling up again when he remembers the bruises he left around that gorgeous neck now covered by the white fabric. 

“You are hiding the marks aren’t you?”

“Would you rather I didn’t?”

“No of course not. It’s just - I’m sorry Levi.”

“I know.” 

Levi pours a cup of coffee and fishes around for another mug for Erwin. A little smirk grows on Levi’s lips. 

“I’ve always wanted an excuse to wear one of these. It’s so dignified, don’t you think?”

Erwin laughs wholeheartedly at that as he takes the offered coffee cup from Levi.

“Yes, you look like a little prince.”

“No, just your little boy is enough...”

Erwin’s gut warms at the words and the blush that brushes across Levi’s cheeks and neck right down to the cravat. 

Even after the bruises heal, Levi continues to wear the white cloth around his neck as part of his uniform. The cravat serves as a silent reminder to both of them to trust one another. For Levi it even becomes a symbol of binding himself to Erwin. What was once used for hiding what Erwin did from others turned into hiding what belongs only to Erwin from prying eyes. Levi’s neck becomes like sacred ground for Erwin. And every time Erwin sees the cravat he is reminded of the day he almost lost his boy and vows anew to never have Levi leave his side.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a bit different than what is in the series, but I hope everyone enjoyed it. Came out nothing like I thought it would heh... 
> 
> Up next is toys and reward focused as prompted from a few different people, woot!


End file.
